Working sucks ass dude....

Pensive at work...

Happy Birfday to Me!

Snowy commute today.

Dishes for Chinese New Year

meat and tofu

crispy chicken

fish with black bean sauce

So after weeks of rude awakenings, I came to the conclusion that some people were just not meant to be loved. Is it punishment for something one has done in the past? Or is it just one's fate in life. I suppose being Chinese I do believe in fate and the whole "it was meant to be this way" thinking. I suppose life is a punishment/reward system. You do the right thing and you are rewarded... you know the rest. What I'm trying to figure out is what is it that makes me a bad person that deserves punishment. I suppose it could either be that I have selective memory and only choose to remember what I want leading to the reason why I don't know why I'm being punished OR that I'm really that self righteous and I don't think I do wrong or bad things. I would like to think it's not the latter reason. After all I hate that trait in people. Which THEN leads me to think if I am self righteous then I should thoroughly despise myself. I suppose it doesn't matter if I'm self righteous or not at this point, what's there to love about me? They say you should love yourself before you can love someone else, well I tried that and it still didn't work. So then now what? I should just continue to hate myself and just curl up in a ball and hope not to wake up tomorrow. *sigh*

Omg, I feel like the walking dead this weekend. It's not a fever because I don't have a temperature. It's a bad cough and stupped up dose. Doesn't help that I'm still depressed about the living situation and the fact that the one that I love is so far away. Well, all those who know me knows that that's over but we're still good friends. Is it wrong to be in love with your friend? I dunno. Have to concentrate on me for a little while. Feeling like I'm in limbo right now. Not sure if it's because I'm sick or it's something else. Who knows. Sitting here waiting for dinner to be ready. Feel like sleeping and not waking up. Dreams are so much better than real life. *sigh*

My new shirt. Too funny!

Mom is getting ready for a Hello Kitty New Year, tee hee.

Grr, boss is pissing me off today. He should've taken a long weekend. After all it's Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I'm tellin' ya, we're better than the post office.

Monday, Monday.... *sigh* Another week goes by. I'm still trying to figure out what in the world my trainer was thinking. What is it with men and cheating? Like I said the other day, not that I was interested but what if I were? Didn't he think he would have to say something eventually? I mean, let's say we give him the benefit of the doubt and he was in the middle of a breakup. But still, why not be up front about it? Aren't we all adults here? What made him think that in the end I wouldn't find out eventually, if it were to go in that direction. So basically I'm not upset at the fact that he did what he did, just the fact that it bothers me that he would see me as that stupid that I would never find out or never bother to ask questions eventually. I don't know. I guess it's bothering me more that I thought it would. I think, as I said two seconds ago it's about being taken for stupid. That's what it is. Ugh. No wonder I'm still single.

Yay! Strawberry cheesecake shot!

Papa Yao diving into dessert. Hey! Where's mine?!?!

Just can't finish the last few pasta tubes... *burp* Oh wait, there still dessert, hehehe.

Having a nice dinner with Papa Yao at Applebee's. Hey dad! I'm over here. Sheesh.

Mmm, peanut butter and sugar sammiches are so yummylicious.

So I come to find out last night that my trainer who had been flirting with me has a girlfriend. Not that I was interested in him in the first place but the point is, why are men so shady? I'm really glad that I'm not interested in him. Could you imagine how it would've went if I was? Bleh. He called me this morning and sent me a text message saying, "I'm sorry about last night Kat." I have yet to listen to his voice message. Part of me doesn't want to because I don't want to hear what he has to say. Not like it's going to make a difference what he says. Shady is just plain shady. Oh well.

So on a lighter note, I have confirmed from a mutual friend that he still does really love me a lot. I suppose we're both just really dealing with reality and living with the fact that we're so far apart. Doesn't change the way I feel about him. Still love him so much. Think about him every day... *sigh*

Man, I'm feeling so lazy today... That's Michelle in the back downloading Podcasts, hehehe.

Who's that movie star? Lol. My Tiffany shades are the bomb.