Omg, I feel like the walking dead this weekend. It's not a fever because I don't have a temperature. It's a bad cough and stupped up dose. Doesn't help that I'm still depressed about the living situation and the fact that the one that I love is so far away. Well, all those who know me knows that that's over but we're still good friends. Is it wrong to be in love with your friend? I dunno. Have to concentrate on me for a little while. Feeling like I'm in limbo right now. Not sure if it's because I'm sick or it's something else. Who knows. Sitting here waiting for dinner to be ready. Feel like sleeping and not waking up. Dreams are so much better than real life. *sigh*
21 January 2008
Monday, Monday.... *sigh* Another week goes by. I'm still trying to figure out what in the world my trainer was thinking. What is it with men and cheating? Like I said the other day, not that I was interested but what if I were? Didn't he think he would have to say something eventually? I mean, let's say we give him the benefit of the doubt and he was in the middle of a breakup. But still, why not be up front about it? Aren't we all adults here? What made him think that in the end I wouldn't find out eventually, if it were to go in that direction. So basically I'm not upset at the fact that he did what he did, just the fact that it bothers me that he would see me as that stupid that I would never find out or never bother to ask questions eventually. I don't know. I guess it's bothering me more that I thought it would. I think, as I said two seconds ago it's about being taken for stupid. That's what it is. Ugh. No wonder I'm still single.
19 January 2008
So I come to find out last night that my trainer who had been flirting with me has a girlfriend. Not that I was interested in him in the first place but the point is, why are men so shady? I'm really glad that I'm not interested in him. Could you imagine how it would've went if I was? Bleh. He called me this morning and sent me a text message saying, "I'm sorry about last night Kat." I have yet to listen to his voice message. Part of me doesn't want to because I don't want to hear what he has to say. Not like it's going to make a difference what he says. Shady is just plain shady. Oh well.
So on a lighter note, I have confirmed from a mutual friend that he still does really love me a lot. I suppose we're both just really dealing with reality and living with the fact that we're so far apart. Doesn't change the way I feel about him. Still love him so much. Think about him every day... *sigh*