Milagros - My Beautiful Grandmother

I have sat and tried to write what I felt in my heart about my grandmother who just recently passed away. I wrote and rewrote. I erased, edited, deleted and wrote again through my blurry vision because of the tears but I just couldn't capture what it is in my heart that I feel about her.

By all means I am not a writer, I was never good with words nor will I ever be. But this is an attempt to write what I feel in my heart. I will keep it short and simple so that I won't be repetitive because I've had a tendency to do that recently.

There is a feeling of emptiness and sadness in my heart. The tears won't stop rolling down my cheeks as I try to put the words down that would describe best how I viewed her. She was and still is a symbol of strength and wisdom to me. My grandfather whom sadly I never really got to know, had his stroke quite early in life, and it was up to my grandmother to become the head of the household and business. During those times it wasn't totally unheard of but still not a woman's role in society. She lived through wartime, poverty, and illness in the family. She raised six children almost on her own while running the business. She ruled with an iron fist and a big heart. In my eyes what she was always will be is a strong independent woman. The kind of woman I aspire to be. I'll miss her. I only wish I knew her when she was younger, so we could've talked more about life and family. Growing up I always feared her a bit. She had this intimidating way about her, but showed at the same time how much she cared about us. It's really hard to explain, but that's the best I could do.

For those who knew her, my apologies. I know this post won't do her justice but as I said I'm not a writer. I will miss her even more knowing that I can't see her smile anymore or that I can't hear her laugh anymore. But I can remember the image of her smile and the laughter in my mind.  I will always hold those memories dear to my heart.

I'll miss you Amah.....

The following is a posting is from my cousin's blog. I added her blog to this post because of the touching words she wrote, I felt that I should share it with whomever reads my post as well as to share the pictures that I myself did not have.

Milagros - My Beautiful Grandmother, My Miracle:

I have some sad news to share. Yesterday, I was notified that my beloved grandmother, Milagros Leong, passed away. Her name means 'miracle' in Spanish, and she truly was our miracle in our lives. A mother of 6, a grandmother to dozens of grandchildren (she has plenty!) she was always hardworking, determined, stylish, and truly had a big heart. She always saw the good in others and put others before herself.

She was the only grandparent I had a relationship with since my other grandparents passed away before I was born, and out of the many families she chose to live with - she chose to live with me, my mom and dad. She was in my life ever since I was born & helped raise me. However, a couple of years ago she moved back to the Philippines to live with other family to receive 24/7 hour care since she endured having asthma, Parkinson's Disease, and she wasn't doing so well.

She was my inspiration, my muse, and the reason why I ventured into fashion. And I had her tremendous support all the way.

Back in the Philippines, she owned Cramerton Tailoring, and was highly skilled in sewing, tailoring, and making clothes - she even made some of my baby clothes.

She was always well put together. She knew how to coordinate her outfits, and maintain being classy and elegant. She is a true beauty and has great style.

Above is her on the right. Below, she is the gorgeous woman carrying the baby.

I miss her, and I wish I was able to give her one last hug.

Rest in peace Grandma, we love you.

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